Conversations During the Holidays

For many, the holidays mean getting together with distant family. At this time, people tend to spend time talking with each other about their personal lives. Therefore, if you recently ended a relationship, you probably want to skip the family events to avoid the awkward conversations.

However, the dread of these conversations shouldn’t keep you from the company of others. There are several things that you can focus on to keep these conversations from bringing you down.

They ask because they care

There are many family members who probably didn’t know about your break-up. Therefore, before you respond, keep in mind that they didn’t mean to bring up a bad subject. Rather, remember they started a conversation with you because they are interested in how you are doing. In fact, people will often apologize when you share such news. Similarly, they may also ask if there is anything that they can do. For example, those who know what happened will commonly offer that you can talk about the negative experience whenever needed.  As a result, you may find that you have a larger circle of support than you thought. This could strengthen your self-worth and make the grieving process easier.

Keep the conversation going and end on a positive note

Everyone knows that the end of a relationship can be painful, so they will likely understand how you are feeling. Even if you don’t feel like talking about the relationship, try to bring up something else.  For example, transition into what you are up to now or your plans for the new year.  Overall, this will leave you feeling positive about what lies ahead. If your family is one to worry about you, it could also be a reassuring conversation for them. For example, it lets them know that you are not letting the loss keep you from better things.

Similarly, if you don’t feel like talking about yourself, it is okay. Rather, spend time asking people about themselves to keep the conversation going. This will show people that you still want to catch up but do not want to talk about the loss. Furthermore, it is also a great way to get your mind on other things. However, remember to not let the progress of others make you feel less successful. Rather, celebrate with them about their progress and remember that success is just around the corner for you.

Status does not define you

Some people struggle with feeling less important when they do not have a significant other. This is because they do not have someone spending time with them constantly, for example. It is important to not be ashamed of being newly single. If talking about it would make you feel better, don’t hesitate because you feel embarrassed. Your loved ones would not see you differently just because you are now single. Ultimately, how this experience will affect you depends on your perspective. Instead of focusing on being lonely, see this as a journey of newly found independence.

In the end, it is important to keep yourself out there and talk with others. Therefore, use these tips to start thinking about how to make these conversations easier for yourself.

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